


my life hit a new high

by dhils



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Recreational Drug Use, theyre so clearly gay for each other it hurts, warning for dumbass hipster boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 06:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16444772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhils/pseuds/dhils
Summary: Nolan squeezes his hand when they walk down the train tracks together, and it makes Nico’s hearthurtwith how much he loves him.





	my life hit a new high

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i just wanted to write abt a small town and nico’s polaroid camera. here u go
> 
> title from papercut by kevin abstract

Nico doesn’t find anything quite as peaceful as watching the sunset from his rooftop, letting his legs dangle off the edge as the final breaths of the evening sun paints the world in pink and orange. The inky darkness of the night is bleeding into the splash of pastels along the horizon. It’s something else, and Nico fidgets with the polaroid camera in his hands, debating on when exactly to capture the moment

A baseball bounces into his backyard and Nico’s eyes snap into the direction it came from. 

“Hey, sorry, that’s my bad,” the kid that lives next door to him calls, his head peeking up from over the fence. Nico can’t really see anything with the way the brim of his cap is hanging over his face. “Uh, Nico?”

“Up here, Nols,” he says finally, reluctantly snapping the picture of the setting sun and scrambling back downstairs through his bedroom window. 

By the time he’s in his backyard, Nolan’s still patiently waiting for him, drumming a beat he can’t recognize against the wooden fence. 

“Watch your aim, man,” Nico tells him, passing the baseball back over the fence. Nolan catches it with a content grin stretching his face. 

“I’ll make sure to send it into the cat lady’s backyard next time,” Nolan jokes. “But, I mean, she’s not as fun to talk to.”

 

 

The following statements are true:

The strings of polaroids in Nico’s room are bordering on over fifty pictures. A lot of them are of things he considers pretty or moments he refuses to let go. Most of them include Nolan.

 

 

Nolan always has this look to him, like he’s only just rolled out of bed, but there’s something perfect about it. As if he stood in front of a mirror and painstakingly mussed up every strand of his hair until it looked gorgeously tousled. Nico’s convinced himself of it.

His eyes are half lidded as he sits across from Nico, a joint he rolled by himself held loosely between his fingers. The window he’d opened is blowing a cool breeze at the homework Nico has set out on his bed, but he doesn’t mind. It keeps him grounded, like frozen kisses against his skin. 

“Hey,” Nolan says, when Nico twirls his pen in his hand and stares down at his work, reading over a line of scrawl. He tilts his chin back up to look at him, catching that easy-going look Nolan always has on his face. 

“Yeah?”

“Want some?” He asks, raising the joint like he’s making a toast.

“Well, I’m, um, busy,” Nico tells him, tipping his head towards the textbook he’s got balanced in his lap.

Nolan makes a noncommittal noise. “Fine, I’ll come to you.” Nico thinks he might absentmindedly hold his breath as Nolan moves closer to him pressing a hand into the sheets to keep his balance. “Ready?” He doesn’t actually wait for Nico’s go-to, but even without it, all Nolan does is take a drag. Nico watches it happen in slow-motion, and he’s a little confused until Nolan dips in a little closer. 

He brushes their mouths together and blows the smoke out nice and slow. Nico’s too stunned to do anything but inhale, feeling his heartbeat quicken. He breathes out, and thinks he might start coughing. “Fuck.”

Nolan laughs. “You’re such a loser.” When he’s got his back pressed up to the pillows at the head of the bed again, he raises the joint in his hand. “Just lemme know if you want more.”

Nico takes a few more hits, and Nolan’s lips feel warmer every time. 

 

 

If moonlight looks beautiful over water, when it’s caught in Nolan’s eyes, it’s breathtaking. Nico tries not to stare, but he catches himself a couple times, hanging around on the swingset in the middle of their neighbourhood’s rusty old park.

The only ones up at this hour are the loved and the lonely, Nico decides not to classify himself.

“Do you think there’s life out there?” Nolan asks suddenly, glancing over at him. His feet brush the sand on the ground. “I mean, on other planets and shit. Aliens.”

Nico thinks he’s kidding, so he doesn’t respond for a moment, giving him this quiet laugh instead. But when Nolan keeps waiting, he realizes he’s supposed to be talking. “I don’t know,” he says dismissively. “I mean, there could be? The universe is huge, right? There’s no way we’re the only ones here.”

Nolan hums. “I think so, too.” The sky isn’t as starry as it usually is. Full of clouds, instead. But Nico thinks he’s happy with just Nolan for now. 

“We probably shouldn’t be worrying about it,” Nico says. 

“I know. I just think it’d be cool.”

“Yeah.” Nico can’t keep the smile off his face. “It would be.”

When he catches Nolan’s gaze, he’s smiling right back at him. 

 

 

Sometimes Nico thinks he’s been cursed with too much time. He’s got nothing to do, neither of them do. And Nico wonders, if they left together, would it even matter. 

Someday, they’ll make it out of here.

 

 

Nolan squeezes his hand when they walk down the train tracks together, and it makes Nico’s heart _hurt_ with how much he loves him. 

“If I threw a party,” he starts, “would we even be able to afford any alcohol?”

Nico tries not to make a face at him, but he thinks it might come through anyways. “I hate booze. You don’t need it to enjoy life, y’know? Not if you’re adventurous enough without it.” 

Nolan smiles at him and bumps their shoulders together, a maple leaf crunches under his foot. “Let’s go on an adventure, then.”

 

 

The next time Nico sees Nolan in shorts, his knees are covered in pink bandaids, and Nico can’t even build up the words to ask him what happened through how hard he’s laughing.

“Okay, fuck you, they’re my sister’s, you asshole,” he snaps, but there isn’t enough heat behind it to wipe the grin off Nico’s face. “I’m trying to learn how to do a kickflip, it’s not fun.”

“Have you ever heard of _knee pads_?” Nico asks, and the image of Nolan fucking up a trick makes him have to hold in another bout of laughter. He shouldn’t be poking fun at him, Nico can’t even skateboard to begin with, but it’s too easy.

“Knee pads were more of an afterthought.”

“You ever heard of safety first? Instant karma.” Nolan frowns at him and Nico shoves him to wipe the look off his face. “You want me to kiss them better?”

“You can fuck right off,” Nolan says stubbornly, but Nico doesn’t miss the wince that flashes over his face when he bends his leg.

 

 

Nico used to have a plan.

He isn’t sure what to do, how to build that up again. He has no idea how to make it happen, how to _get there_. 

All he knows is that he wants to stay with Nolan, and the sleepy eyes he gives him when they wake up next to each other after a night of talking about life. He wants to hold onto that shitty coffee they make each other, the early sunrises they watch when they stay out for longer than they should, the time they spend together. It’s all that matters to him. _Nolan’s_ all that matters. 

And Nico wishes he could say it without tripping up, but he doesn’t know how. 

 

 

“I like this one,” Nolan’s saying, staring down at a polaroid he’d found lying on the floor of Nico’s room. It’s just them smiling into the camera, everything a little hazy around the edges. Nolan’s eyes are slightly red, and Nico’s not doing any better. 

Nico pulls it from his hand and looks down at the picture. “I don’t even _remember_ taking this.”

“Probably because you were stoned,” Nolan jokes, but he’s wearing something on his face, something like affection. Nico feels his chest tighten, and he tries not to think about Nolan breathing smoke into his mouth.

“Barely,” Nico says, rolling his eyes. He pins the picture up anyways, hypnotized by just how pretty Nolan’s smile is in it.

 

 

When thunder rattles his house, Nico’s almost too shaken up by it to hear the knocks on his door, once, twice, and three times. When he opens it, Nolan’s standing on his front step, drops of rain soaking into his clothes and wetting his hair. He’s got something to him that brightens up everything around them. Even if the world is cold and dark behind him, Nolan’s glow is all Nico can focus on.

“Are you out of your _mind_?” Nico asks, and he’s dead serious as he lets Nolan in, feeling a wave of concern washing over him. The rain is loud in his ears even after he shuts the door, pattering against the windows and beating the walls. “What happened?”

“Wanted to make sure you were okay,” he insists, and Nico’s initial motive to question his sanity wears thin. 

“What?”

“I remember you telling me, a while ago actually, that you don’t like thunderstorms,” he says. “You said that, right? And this one got bad quick, so I wanted to make sure.”

Another clash of thunder hits, and Nico tries to hold back the panic that wells up in his throat.

“Nolan…” He wants to swipe his finger over the drop of rain on his cheek, thinks _fuck it_ , and does. “You wanna stay over? I’m not letting you back out there.”

Nolan laughs. “Only to keep you safe.”

 

 

Most of the time, when Nico wakes up next to Nolan, it takes all the willpower in his very being to keep from getting up and snapping a picture of him. But when he wakes up with Nolan only half buried under blankets, his hair long and damp against the pillow, Nico ends up reaching for his camera anyways.

When Nolan blinks his eyes open at the shutter going off, he looks up at Nico with bleary eyes, and there are no words to describe just how gorgeous he looks. “Fuck, how is it morning already,” he grumbles. “Get back in bed, you’re making it cold.”

Nico sets his camera down, and he’s awake enough to taunt him, but he’s not prepared for Nolan reaching out and pulling him in, trapping him under the blankets.

Nico doesn’t fight back, instead clutching at the fabric of Nolan’s shirt like his life depends on it.

 

 

They watch fireworks together.

Nico isn’t even sure who’s setting them off, or why, but they’re too far off in the distance for them to make the drive just to question it. Plus, Nolan’s fitted snugly next to him on the rustling branches of an old oak tree. It’s good.

The fireworks go off in splashes of every colour of the rainbow, reds, and blues, and purples, lighting up the sky like Nico’s never seen before. And he likes watching the lights paint Nolan’s skin, making his features glow.

 _I love you_ , Nico thinks. He breathes, in and out, and tells himself maybe some other day.

When Nolan puts his hand over Nico’s he doesn’t let go, and— _oh_.

 

 

Nico doesn’t think there’s a single inch of this fucking town they haven’t explored together, but it’s still refreshing when Nolan meets him by their usual meeting spot with a little red basket of fries. He offers them up with a grin.

The grass stains their jeans with green, but Nico still laughs at all of Nolan’s jokes, they still sit a little closer than bros would, and the world is still spinning—so maybe the point is that it doesn’t matter. Not when he’s with Nolan.

Minutes blend into hours when they’re together, pressed together on a warm evening in autumn. And it’s alright.

 

 

It’s not especially amazing when it happens, not this grand declaration of love, or a heart-meltingly romantic gesture. 

In hindsight maybe Nico should’ve tried that, but at the time, sitting on his back porch seemed like just as much of a suitable option.

It’s so easy to say it under the muted light of a black sky, but Nico still thinks it comes out a little choked when he blurts, “I wanna kiss you.” Nolan looks up at him with an unreadable expression, and Nico’s stomach twists while he waits for a response, _anything_. “I mean, if we could—I’d like that.”

Nolan’s features goes soft, still a blur of emotions. “I wanna kiss you, too,” he says, his words touch his mouth, hot and sweet. Nico can practically taste them.

He swallows his hesitance and dips in until their lips just barely brush, and they’ve been this close before, but Nolan inches forward to bridge that final stretch.

Everything seems to go quiet when they’re there, hands fluttering along skin and warmth simmering beneath his nerves. Nico’s thought about kissing Nolan before, and they’ve gotten close, but there’s nothing better than the real thing. The touch that makes his heart stutter, something sweet that he can hang onto, think of when he can’t fall asleep.

Maybe everything will be okay

 

 

“This is a what?”

“A love lock,” Nolan says, clicking the red lock shut over their chosen chain-link fence. It’s the one circling around the batting cages Nolan always drags him to. 

He smiles at him. “That’s so cheesy.”

“You’re cheesy!”

Nico shakes his head with a little laugh and snaps a picture.


End file.
